Why everyday seemed so boring?

Sometimes it's just because of the self-confidence/esteem that I don't feel like putting energy into replies and conversation. Other times, I just don't know what it is. Is it me?

You'd think after all the self-help books, all the antidepressants, something would be clicking by now.

Here's just an example. There's MANY I can draw from.just now , my mom just told me that one of my mom's friends daughter just got engaged to a guy she knew for 2 months. I've met the girl numerous times, but she's only 17. I had like 2 sentences to reply to what she said, clearly wanting to make a little conversation with me. I basically just paraphrased what she said, that's it. Like my reply was alright, but it was like a robot was saying it. Extrapolate this example to dates, my friends, etc and you get the picture. I hate it.

I mean, when I look in the mirror I like what I see physically. Yet, it seems inside I'm still just half-awake these days. I've been trying (not to a great success you might argue) to beat through it... going to school... doing some hw... trying to stay positive, but the routine is boring. It gets pretty damn frustrating, I know I seem to whine a lot on this board. Probably because it'd drive my friends nuts, lol. It's just so hard to be happy/believe in yourself when inside it's like "why bother talking? why bother doing this activity"?

I conclude I am useless.